Soul Searching
by Skymouth
Summary: What is the REAL reason that Zenigata is so obsessed over Lupin? Fujiko decides to give both boys a push in the right direction after she realizes the truth. Warning: Yaoi! ZenigataLupin pairing.


Soul Searching A Lupin Fanfic 

Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Owned by Kato, Takahashi, and Monkey Punch, I make no profit from this fic, so try to sue me, I dare ya, I have nothing

Summary: What is the REAL reason that Zenigata is so obsessed over Lupin? Fujiko decides to give both boys a push in the right direction after she realizes the truth. Warning: Yaoi! Zenigata/Lupin pairing.

(Authors Note: Thought it was high time I reposted this fic! So here it is! Enjoy!)

Zenigata tossed and turned in his bed. It was four in the morning and there was no way he was going to fall asleep. He curled up on his side and cursed the night as well as Lupin who was foremost in all his thoughts. It was costing the Inspector his sleep. That and the constant noise just outside out on the street that night was driving him crazy too. It was Mardi Gras and he was in New Orleans after he'd heard that Lupin would be there. It was just Lupin's sort of scene. Partying, loose women, beer, and partying. He was so certain that Lupin was out in that crowd on the street that he'd bet his gun on it.

Zenigata sat up and tossed the sheets off of his bed. What would it hurt for him to case the crowd? He wasn't getting any sleep anyway and he KNEW neither would Lupin tonight. He could outlast that young snot, just because he was old didn't mean he was dead!

So the Inspector got dressed and slipped out into the mulling crowd on Bourbon Street. It was in the wee hours of the morning yet the party was still going strong and showing no signs of stopping. He wondered what would happen once the sun rose, would the revelers scamper back into seclusion once again just like vampires? Hiding from the sun? He pushed his way through the thick crowd, scanning each face for that familiar twinkle of the eye and twisting smirk of that mouth that he knew belonged solely to Lupin.

A woman, feeling the effects of alcohol and relenting to the taunts of her male companions, lifted her shirt, revealing her bare and jiggling breasts only a few inches from a shocked Inspectors face. He downcast his eyes, embarrassed and slipped away deeper into the crowd. He was drowning in a crushing sea of faces and all of them were drunken strangers, none were Lupin.

Disappointed, he decided he had enough of trying to swim upstream in that crowd and made for the sidewalk. Once there, he leaned up against a building and heaved a sigh of relief. He turned to try to catch his bearings and see where his hotel was. He'd come a lot further down then he originally thought. He must have been caught in the tide of bodies and had been carried away. So he stood there to catch his breath finally able to breathe without having an elbow accidentally jab him in the gut or being knocked around like a rag doll in the crowd. He really detested such scenes. He stood up to see what shop he was standing up against. It was a little nondescript shop with blue velvet draping in the window and a sign posted that said 'Madame Kata: Fortune Teller, Past, Present, Future.' There was also a sign that suggested it was open, even at that hour.

Zenigata shrugged. What the hell? Why not? He pushed on the door and walked in. It was dark. A one room shop lit solely by candles. A table draped in a gold silk fabric graced the center of the room. There was a typical scrying crystal ball sitting on an ornate stand in the center of the table. A repetitive single chime from a bell could be heard coming from somewhere, probably a tape, Zenigata guessed. He saw a dark figure draped in black and gold and her jewelry glittered in the candlelight, he was having second thoughts about this. It was stupid. He started to turn to march right back out when a heavy, fake Gypsy accented voice greeted him.

"Welcome, stranger, to Madame Kata's. Come, sit down. Let me answer your deepest and darkest questions." The woman beckoned him.

"And how much is this going to run me?" Zenigata said still uncertain.

"Oh, please, we can discuss payment after. Sit, sit, sit!" She waved him over to the chair, persistently.

Zenigata sighed and decided to humor her. "So, how do we do this?"

"We start, by you asking me a question, then I will answer it." She said with ultimate confidence.

Zenigata raised an eyebrow. Would she know whether or not he would ever get Lupin the third? He felt hesitant to say his name for some reason. "Look, I've been after a certain person for a long time. Will I ever get this person?"

Madame Kata made a show of running her hands above the crystal ball and murmuring nonsensical sounds. Zenigata looked on skeptically. If this nonsense was going to cost more then twenty bucks, she could forget it!

"This person you seek, you know them well. You dislike this person because they are chaos incarnate and you are order. There is conflict when such forces collide. Both tend to try to destroy the other when they meet."

Zenigata had to admit she was really good to get that right off the bat. "What else do you see?"

She made another show of peering into the ball. "It would not be wise to destroy this person." She warned ominously.

"Why not?" He growled.

"What is it you feel when you think about this person?"

"Animosity. Disgust. The usual." He said.

She shook her head, "That is what you think you are expected to feel, now, tell me how you REALLY feel about this person? Do you want this person dead?"

Zenigata shook his head, "No. Of course not, just---"

"--- under control?" Madame Kata finished.

Zenigata blinked. "Um, yes."

"Why would you want to control this person?"

"I'm--- not sure. Perhaps to curb his self destructive behavior."

"Someone who hates another would not want to do this kind of service for another." Madame Kata told him glibly.

"What are you talking about?" Zenigata demanded.

"You're true feelings for this person are buried deep down. Don't you see? You don't hate this person at all. What you really feel is love."

Zenigata paused and there was a stony silence for a moment. Then he blurted out, "No friggen way in hell!" That was the MOST REDICULOUS thing he'd EVER heard! "You tryin' to tell me I'm in love with this--- this person?"

"Isn't it obvious? Isn't this person constantly on your mind? Do you ignore almost everything else in favor of just getting near this person?" Madame Kata would not let him squirm out of it.

"Well--- this person--- is a bad person." Zenigata stuttered, "I uphold the law!" He was feeling very flustered, trying to not let the very idea take nest inside his head. But Lupin the third was always there in his mind, stubborn like a tumor. The idea was not really a new thought, just newly dredged up to the surface. In denial, he would squash it down again and continue on his merry way, if he could.

"The reason you are in such turmoil is because you are denying these feelings. If you let things continue on as they are, then you may indeed capture this person. But you wont ever be happy. You will only be happy if you follow your heart. You have great feelings for this person. Dare I say, I believe this person might be your soul mate."

Zenigata's jaw dropped and he felt as if his whole reality was swiped away and out of his reach. "I think this session is over." He stood up quickly and then asked, "What do I owe you?"

"Fifteen dollars, please." Madame Kata frowned. "Sure you won't stay? There is so much more I can see for you."

"I've heard quite enough, thank you." He tossed the money at her and stormed out to fight the crowd again to get back to his hotel.

After he left, Madame Kata stood and grinned. She took the scarf off of her head. Fujiko counted his payment and chortled. She had seen the signs a long time ago. Lupin was showing them too. Fed up with all the beating around the bush, she felt now was the perfect time to give those two a push in the right direction. So she set up shop. Fujiko had the uncommon sense of managing to be in the right place at the right time to accomplish what it was she wanted. And what she wanted was to open those two stubborn jerks eyes up so they could both see the truth, as painful as it may be.

Zenigata paced back and forth in his hotel room, his mind racing off on a million tangents, but all of them ended up in one annoying place--- Lupin the third. That goofy grin was plastered in his mind. And what that fortune teller had told him, the very idea! Granted, he had no romantic involvement with anyone of late, his obsession over capturing Lupin sort of curtailed all of that. Lupin had pretty much ruined his life, of that he was certain.

He had no sense of when it was the sun had come up, so thoroughly engrossed with the pandemonium in his mind was he, it took a phone call for him to be jerked out of his reverie.

He was glad for the distraction, mild as it was. "Inspector Zenigata. He's staying where? I'm on my way there!" He slammed the phone down and rushed out the door again, not noticing that the crowds were gone from the streets. A paid snitch for the New Orleans department he was working with while he was there had just told him where Lupin was staying. So off he went.

He burst into the hotel and forced the room number Lupin was in out of the staff. He always felt giddy when he knew that he was going to capture Lupin. And NO, it wasn't because he loved the bastard! He thought furiously. If he loved anything, it was seeing justice done. That was it! The only thing, he insisted to himself over and over again, hoping beyond hope he would believe the lie. He was afraid, afraid of what changes the truth would bring.

Zenigata came to a panting halt before the door. It wouldn't do to burst in wheezing like an old man, so he held up for a moment to catch his breath. A moment later, he charged the door, using his shoulder as a battering ram. Once, twice, a third time and the door finally busted inward causing him to stumble into the room.

"Jeeze, Pops, you're form of knocking leaves something seriously to be desired." Lupin's haughty voice greeted the Inspector from inside the room.

Zenigata paused a moment, unable to speak as Lupin stood away from the couch he had been lounging on earlier. Everything Madame Kata had said came rushing back. He'd never consciously thought about--- being with Lupin in that way when he was confronting him face to face. There just never was time, or so he thought.

"Pops? Speechless? To what do I owe the honor?" Lupin asked confused but tried not to show it.

Zenigata growled. "Oh, shut up, Lupin."

"You going to cuff me now?" Lupin held out his wrists to the Inspector who eyed him suspiciously.

"What do you think?"

"Well, we certainly didn't start this off very routine, so it made me wonder what was next, ya know? I mean, you usually storm in on me and rattle on about throwing me in jail and some such nonsense. Sure, the busting in part was all you, but what gives? You just stand there and stare at me. What, do I have something on my tie?"

Zenigata fumbled for something coherent to say, "You're going to jail, Lupin. There, you satisfied?"

"Aw, come on, Pops, say it like you mean it!" Lupin urged. "Make me believe!"

Zenigata did not feel well. His heart was beating a little faster then it should. And he felt faint. "I--- I have to sit down for a bit."

"Jeeze, Pops, you look a little pale. You feelin' okay?" Lupin asked concerned. Lupin reached for him and Zenigata jerked away from the thief reflexively.

"Don't touch me, Lupin!" Zenigata said, his eyes wild.

Lupin backed up a few paces, his arms raised, "Jeeze, okay, okay! Look, have a seat. Want something to drink?"

Zenigata sat heavily on the couch and rubbed his forehead. "What does it matter what I want?" He asked irritably and vented his frustrations out on the younger man.

"Come on, Pops-"

"My name is Zenigata!"

"Alright, sheesh. Thought most folks liked having a pet name." Lupin left to get a glass of water for the Inspector.

'What did he mean by that?' Zenigata wondered nervously. There was NO WAY that Lupin liked him. They shot at each other, they yelled and screamed at each other, they were constantly getting on each others nerves. Lupin returned and gave him the glass of water. He eyed it suspiciously, "Bet there's some sort of sleeping pill or something worse dissolved in there."

"There isn't." Lupin grabbed it from him and took a long swallow and then handed it back. "Why can't you just sit and relax for once?"

"Why are you being nice to me? After all we've put each other through?" Zenigata wondered.

Lupin grinned and shrugged, "I can always count on you, Pops, I mean Zenigata. I must admit, I get a little worried if I don't see you every so often."

"Worry? Why?" Zenigata asked amazed.

"I know you hate me and all, but I don't have to return the favor, you know." Lupin said.

Zenigata held onto the water tightly and stared at the floor beyond his shoes, trying to figure out the situation.

"Zenigata? You okay?" Lupin asked concerned.

"No." He admitted.

"Want me to call a doctor?"

"How about a coroner to put me out of my misery?" Zenigata said and sipped the water.

Lupin snorted and dared to sit next to Zenigata who became instantly aware of how close the younger man suddenly was. Zenigata tensed and wouldn't look at Lupin, he just continued to stare at the carpet.

"I've never seen you like this, Zenigata, it's kinda creepin' me out." Lupin said.

Zenigata sighed, "It's creeping me out too." He handed the water back to Lupin, "Well, I gotta go." He stood up suddenly and felt weak in the knees. He felt Lupin gently grab him and ease him back down to the sofa.

"Aren't you forgetting something? Weren't you going to arrest me?" Lupin asked.

Zenigata stuffed the cuffs back into his pocket, "Why? You haven't done anything wrong--- yet."

Something was really bugging Pops, Lupin knew, he just didn't know what. It worried him to see the Inspector like he was. He didn't know why. Earlier, Fujiko asked him all these really strange questions about what he thought of Pops. He'd been somewhat drunk at the time because of the street party, so he didn't really recall most of what was said between them, he only remembered she said something about love and hate sometimes getting confused with each other or something like that. He really didn't know what that had to do with the Inspector.

"Just relax. Take a breather. You'll be feeling like yourself in no time." Lupin said.

Lupin was being so civil to him, even after all was said and done. Maybe--- he wasn't ALL bad. No one could be ALL bad. He turned his head to get a good look at Lupin who was only inches away from him. The usual and familiar feelings of anger were not there. Annoyingly and frightfully, longing had somehow replaced it. Lupin was staring at him. It was unnerving. He really was clueless as to what needed to be done next.

"You aren't relaxing." Lupin scolded and decided to put his arm around Pops shoulders in camaraderie and patted him on his back.

The touch made Zenigata jump. "How can I relax with you being so close to me?"

Lupin blinked, "My being close to you makes you nervous?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Long pause.

"Pops?"

"No." Zenigata admitted though it made his gut wrench. There, if Lupin couldn't take a clue--- he wouldn't be surprised, but if the younger thief did understand and rejected him--- he just didn't know what he would do.

To his surprise Lupin leaned in closer to him and with the arm around his shoulders hugged him. Zenigata's heart sped up again nervously. He knew he was sweating under that overcoat he wore.

"What is it we're doing?" Zenigata asked softly.

"Going with the flow." Lupin said simply and leaned in closer until Zenigata realized Lupin was face to face with him.

He could feel Lupin's breath on his face and it excited him, though he hated to admit it. Instinctively, he jerked back.

"We don't have to go any further." Lupin said, "You can leave if you want and we'll never speak of this again. Is that what you want?"

Zenigata didn't want to admit to Lupin that he was afraid.

"What do you want?" Lupin asked again.

The Inspector dared to look into those eyes he knew so well. "I don't know what I want. This isn't right."

"Why isn't it right? We're both adults. We both are aware that our actions have consequences. Why isn't it right? Because of what others expect of us? Bullshit! We have to live our own lives for ourselves, not for others sakes!" Lupin said heatedly.

"I want--- " He hesitated but didn't move further away from an expectant Lupin. So Lupin took this as a cue to move in closer and planted a kiss on Zenigata's lips. He tasted Chap Stick and coffee and felt the Inspector tense but the man didn't move away from the kiss and Lupin pressed in even more, discovering an eagerness that came from wanting to be intimate with the Inspector, a feeling he never allowed himself to know he had.

Zenigata tensed once he felt Lupin kiss him, even though he tasted the remnants of beer from late night partying on the thief's lips, he stayed put, even when Lupin deepened the startling kiss.

Once he got used to the idea of kissing Lupin, he decided it might be nice to kiss him back. So the two sat there on the couch, moving closer and closer to each other, exploring each others mouths with their tongues. Lupin forced Zenigata to lie down on the couch as he positioned himself on top. When they finally came up for air, Lupin sat up, straddling the Inspector and looked down at him grinning hugely.

"Not a bad way to start off the morning, eh?" Lupin grinned foolishly.

"I can think of worse ways." Zenigata agreed and dared to place his hands on Lupin's thighs and felt the wiry muscle underneath the jeans.

"I think it's time for you to lose your overcoat and hat." Lupin suggested. "They're only going to get in the way for what I plan on doing to you."

Zenigata quirked an eyebrow, "And just WHAT are you planning to do to me?"

"Not sure yet, but we'll find out along the way." He leaned back down and tossed the Inspectors hat away and then helped the man out of his coat, which also got tossed to the ground. "Oh, hell. Why not just take it all off?" And he ripped off Zenigata's tie and began to unbutton his shirt.

Zenigata just let him do what he pleased because he had no idea what to do with his urges. He was certain that Lupin would take care of those urges rather soon. When his shirt was laid open to bare his chest, Lupin leaned closer and ran his tongue over Zenigata's pecks. The Inspector shivered with unexpected pleasure. "You've done this---before?" He gasped.

Lupin shook his head, "I've been strictly one side of the fence up until now. I don't know what came over me, but seeing you look so--- lost, it just made me remember something Fujiko told me last night."

"Oh?" Then Zenigata realized that if he made Lupin talk, the licking would stop. "Please just shut up and let's do this."

"Sure thing--- Pops." Lupin smiled devilishly and for once Zenigata didn't mind the nickname.

Noontime found the two laid out on the couch. Both were in the nude and not minding it at all. Lupin was curled up on Zenigata's chest dozing. The Inspector had his arms around the sleepy thief but he was wide-awake. They had done stuff that he couldn't really explain, some stuff that he had not thought possible. Lupin was fearless in that regard. He himself had to be gently coaxed into trying a few things that had never entered his mind before. But afterwards, he was very glad he had done them--- at least with Lupin. He wasn't sure if he wanted to do anything like that with anyone else. But he knew Lupin was a player while he preferred an intimate and monogamous relationship. He had no idea what would happen with Lupin next. It scared him. Things between them now were forever changed. Even if they didn't continue on together in a mutual relationship and went back to how it was with Lupin on the run and him chasing after to throw the man into jail--- things were now changed. He didn't think he could ever shoot at Lupin again. The implications of a missed shot brought a chilling terror to him.

This sleeping together certainly would complicate life as Zenigata knew it. Lupin stirred in his sleep, snuggling in closer to Zenigata's hairy chest. Zenigata smiled and clutched at Lupin tighter, reveling in their bare skin rubbing up against one another. Madame Kata had suggested that Lupin was his soul mate. He didn't really know. But at the moment, he was more relaxed then he'd been in twenty years. He was actually happy and felt content. Lupin had brought all that to him.

Lupin stirred and then woke. He glanced up and grinned, "Hey, Pops. Quite a morning, would you say?"

Zenigata smiled back at him, "One too long in coming." He admitted. "What happens now?" He had to know. It was eating him up inside.

"Well, Pops, I thought you knew I always lived one day at a time." Lupin traced his finger over Zenigata's kissable lips. "Other then that, I really don't know."

Zenigata frowned then, "This will never happen again, will it?"

Lupin saw the disappointment written all over the Inspectors face and had to feel somewhat elated to know that Zenigata didn't want to give him up just like that. "Why does it have to be the last time? I know I enjoyed it, and the vibe I'm getting from you is you enjoyed it too."

"More then I should have, maybe." Zenigata sighed.

"Hey, Pops, just relax and enjoy the moment. You'll die of a heart attack if you don't learn to just stop and do just that." Lupin lightly smacked Zenigata in the chest.

"Never had someone worry about me so much." Zenigata struggled with the new feelings he found he had for the man.

Lupin kissed him tenderly and Zenigata returned the kiss. "I don't want this to be our last time together--- do you?"

"No." Zenigata sighed almost breathless. He was glad. "I'm--- glad to here you say that, actually."

"You worry too much, Pops." Lupin laughed then snuggled back down against the warm body of the Inspector. "Just relax. We can spend the day together, if you want."

Zenigata hugged Lupin tightly and felt an unusual amount of joy warm him. Even if Lupin wasn't necessarily his soul mate, he didn't care, the thief was exactly what he needed right then. And he finally admitted to himself that he loved Lupin for it.

The End


End file.
